Volume 1, Issue No. 44
OPINION/COMMENTARY
/ News That Fears None, Views That Favor Nobody /
. . . . . A community service of The Filipino Web Channel (TheFilipinoWebChannel@gmail. com) and the Philippine Village Voice (PhilVoiceNews@gmail.com) for the information and understanding of Filipinos and the diverse communities in North America . . .
Our latest as of Friday, May 15, 2020
~ She was my "Inang," the deferential endearment I lovingly bestowed on Gloria Mendoza, mother to such renowned figures as Teresa M. Torralba and the respected Toronto Police Sgt. Philip Mendoza, and mother-in-law to popular heartthrob Ramon "Mon" Torralba. "Inang" quietly bade farewell at age 91 on Thursday morning, May 14, 2020. I laid claim to her as my "other" mother the first time I saw her in Toronto, for in her person I visualized both my own mother and grandmother in ways that could only be described as uncanny.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
GLORIA MENDOZA, 91 YEARS OLD
Remembering My 'Other' Mother in Toronto
By ROMEO P. MARQUEZ
Editor, The Filipino Web Channel
"What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us". - Helen Keller
The loss of life is always painful regardless of the circumstance. It diminishes us one way or another. Personally, the grief I suffer in losing a daughter to cancer on Christmas day in 2016 has not eased. Not in years. Probably not until I see her own two daughters grow up to be fine ladies like her. (Video at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVBXvLC6Xno).
Now again, I am saddened by the departure this Thursday (May 14, 2020) morning of the person I felt so close to next to my own mother, the 91-year-old Gloria Mendoza, the female parent who gave birth, in this order, to Tony Mendoza, Teresa M. Torralba, Philip Mendoza, Aurora Mendoza, and who, on their own, created families and reared a clan.
"She passed away due to Asphyration," says Teresa, the low-profile brains behind the success of Taste of Manila street festival. "I even received a call from the nurse in the morning saying happily that Mama's second covid test just came back negative," she explains.
It wasn't COVID-19 that took her life, to be clear about it. As a matter of fact, the Rouge Valley Extendicare Nursing Home that had been her domicile for several months is the only one in Toronto's east end declared covid-free, thus enabling the family to be at her bedside.
As a precaution, however, each family member was allowed 30 minutes with her. When the time neared, others prayed the rosary at the hospital parking lot facing her room window. "Inspite of the cold wintery weather, we were praying for a painless and peaceful death for our dearest Mama and lola for the kids. Our prayers were answered," Teresa says.
Teresa and husband Ramon "Mon" Torralba, and the Mendoza siblings, are what I consider "kapatid" - non-blood relations but brothers and sisters nevertheless. Since moving in Toronto from California in 2010, they're the only other family I knew, except for another good friend and a media colleague from a long time ago - the late Tenny Soriano.
I had a warm heart for Gloria Mendoza the moment I saw her several years back when she still remembered my name and the voice that went with it. Her caring ways (e. g. kumain ka na ba?), looks, voice, and the way she carried herself despite her advancing age were sweet reminders of my mother Virginia and her mom, Ceferina, my grandmother.
Far from being an illusion, Gloria Mendoza had brought them back to life. In her, I always saw my mother and grandmother. But it is the facial resemblance of Ceferina and Gloria that's uncanny. Perhaps it was one of the unexplainable things that drew me to her which eventually led me to call her "Inang" (for mother in the Tagalog region).
"Inang" was my Lola Ceferina of another moment in time. Ceferina had the Spanish mestiza looks about her, and so was "Inang". They could be mistaken for twin sisters, in fact. And that comparison goes beyond the physical.
From accounts Teresa told me once in a while, Gloria was a disciplinarian whose temper everyone in the brood avoided flaring up, or faced and suffered the consequences.
When I heard it, Teresa's story sounded like she was talking about my Lola Ceferina. Her depiction of her mother Gloria appeared exactly like she was describing my grandmother.
She would swear in classic polysyllables, her Tagalog and Spanish words punctuated in customary Batangueña-style, according to Teresa. On the other hand, my Lola Ceferina also loved to curse. She had a treasure chest of vintage Spanish expletives while growing up in Cavite that was readily available for any and all occasions.
During the times I visited Mon and Teresa at their downtown condo, I would sit with Inang and exchange a few words. There were times they would share their meal, much to her delight as she felt happy playing host for a guest like myself.
It was during those visits that the attachment between a son to his mother or grandmother grew strong. On some community occasions when Teresa would bring her, I'd see to it that I would greet her and kiss her hand in the traditional "mano po" style.
"Kilala ninyo ba ako?" I would ask, more as a reminder of my presence than a challenge to her memory. She would smile and nod in agreement and hold my hands. That was so like my grandma.
Inang left not without a life-long legacy. Teresa remembers her "commandments", cast not so much in stone as in the hearts and minds of her four children, nine grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren.
"Growing up," Teresa says, "Mama engrained on us her children to pray always and to love one another and to help a sibling who is in need". No wonder the whole clan is religious!
Inang's list, according to Teresa:
"To work hard and harder so we can have a decent life. That everything we do in life is a sacrifice. To think 10 times before you get yourself into something.
"To give wholeheartedly and never expect anything in return. To never put down a person because one day your paths may cross again and your situation in life may be switched.
"To look at yourself in the mirror before you judge a person. To always stay humble and glue your feet on the ground. Always be considerate of others.
"Most of all to always look back from where you came from or you will never get to where you're going.
"She said if we do so God will bless not only us but our good deeds will trickle all the way down to our children and grandchildren".
Who would not have loved my Inang the way I loved my own? Aren't we all the better for the lessons she passed on? (Copyright 2020. All Rights Reserved).
No comments:
Post a Comment