Let's Have a Good Laugh Today

Volume 3, Issue No. 39

OPINION/COMMENTARY

/ News That Fears None, Views That Favor Nobody /

. . . . . A community service of The Filipino Web Channel (TheFilipinoWebChannel@gmail. com) and the Philippine Village Voice (PhilVoiceNews@gmail.com) for the information and understanding of Filipinos and the diverse communities in North America . . . . . .

 

Our latest as of Friday, April 1, 2022 

~ In these dreadful times, we ought to have a laugh or two at our own misgivings and be tickled pink. Today is April Fools' Day, an annual custom on April 1 consisting of practical jokes and hoaxes. History says the day "has been celebrated for several centuries by different cultures, though its exact origins remain a mystery".

 

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 IT'S APRIL FOOLS' DAY

Of Morons, Scam Artists, ToM, MPs, FCT

By ROMEO P. MARQUEZ 

Editor, The Filipino Web Channel

"If there's one thing I learned about the community, it's to never underestimate the combo power of stupidity and ruthless ambition". - A local artist who wants to remain anonymous

TORONTO - Here's a bit of good, bad, and in-between news in the community:

1. Ramon "Mon" Datol, a newly-surfaced podcaster (kuno) who talks tirelessly for hours to a microphone, is reportedly being named honorary consul in Toronto mainly because of his advocacy to declare a Philippine labor attache persona non grata. The brainless suggestion was torpedoed before it went out of the room.

2. Cecile Araneta, Datol's chubby sidekick in a social media "newscast", has been appointed ambassador-at-large so she could recruit corporate sponsors for another virtual InterCONtinental Taste of Manila (emphasis on CON) which is scheduled either before or after mankind has totally wiped COVID out. 

3. Nieves Mangante (Cecile Araneta's look-alike) whom a hallucinating wannabe writer has condescendingly referenced as "first lady of Taste of Manila", has been designated as acting mayor of Little Manila. Her first order of business, according to sources, is to organize all the sidewalk vendors hawking suman, talong, kangkong, pechay, kamote, etc. to support her husband's bid to be a member of parliament daw.

4. Rolly Mangante, the self-declared founder of Taste of Manila (ToM) who also holds the fancy title of CEO, is reportedly at his wit's end trying to divine why ToM lost an undetermined amount of cash while he and his family were lavishly vacationing in sun-drenched Boracay. At least $40,000 could not be found, reliable sources said. (Related video at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_398v7dDQhQ).

5. Philip Beloso, allegedly the president of a shadowy group called PESO (quite an appropriate acronym for Philippine Community Events and Services Ontario), is the all-around photo hugger, photo bomber, emcee, priest assistant, etc. is reportedly gunning for the presidency of the deaf-mute organization Filipino Centre Toronto, which is renowned for its parada ng lechon, but not for transparency.

6. Danna Luna aka Lovely, the marketing/logistic director of whatever and alleged ToM host, is reportedly one of the parties wanting to have a ToM version in Montreal, Vancouver, and Winnipeg. A source in PESO says she also wants ToM to be in the Northwest Territories, Yukon, and Nunavut. Good luck babe! Why is she called Lovely?

7. Media sponsors like Balita, CBC/99.1FM Radio One, OMNI TV, Barangay Canada, and Pinoy News are reportedly up in arms for not getting the "global" exposure they were promised to have. It's reasonable, for, after all, ToM's social media platform hardly gets traction except from within, which is to say an average of two to four viewers per quarter. The internet pirate named Periodico, the phony online publication that comes and goes is reportedly negotiating to be ToM's PR agent for scam artists.

8. Toronto Mayor John Tory is reportedly upset because ToM has gone virtual. He wants to be very much around with Toronto Councillor James Pasternak and MP Marco Mendicino during ToM festival. An aide said the mayor is already missing his favorite street food like kwek-kwek, balut, adidas, among others, and monay from FV Foods.

9. Mary Ann San Juan, the president of Filipino Centre Toronto, is said to be seriously considering quitting FCT so she could devote her time as a tourist guide for Intramuros, the Walled City, in Manila. The day job is a good fit for her, according to her friends. (Video at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dWabOiCwhU).

10. Efren de Villa, chairman of Filipino Centre Toronto, is reportedly being groomed to be a Liberal MPP for Scarborough, the Toronto suburb where FCT has stashed its millions in a subterranean vault. It's not clear if de Villa is eyeing FCT's $4-million wealth for his war chest.

11. Rechie Valdez, the first Filipino Canadian woman MP in the House of Commons, was recently reported to be teaching her staff to pronounce her name properly after she overheard one saying "Leche" Valdez, the "Empty" for Mississauga-Streetsville district.

12. Chito Collantes, the title-obsessed "Dr." who is not a medic, has reportedly abandoned the so-called Elite Crusaders after his colleagues - some are sexual predators - decided to look into alleged questionable activities of his recruitment agency being advertised in Balita. Collantes has a pending arrest warrant in the Philippines, according to Periodico. The question is asked: are these elite crusaders actually elite scammers? How many vulnerable people have they victimized, err I mean, helped?

13. Beauty pageants - the cash cow of several community organizations - have apparently lost their luster since the unwelcome arrival of the coronavirus and the pandemic it spurred two and a half years ago. Who in her right mind would like to be crowned Mrs. Pandemic, Miss Pandemic, or Little Miss Pandemic?

14. Not a joke that Filipinos will have their food indulgence starting today with the first-ever Filipino Restaurant Month in Toronto and some provincial capitals across Canada. But it's a joke that most restaurants offer the so-called "pampa-bata," the greasy dish consisting of different pork preparations like lechon, sisig, chicharon bulaklak, etc. They're not exactly age-defying food, but ask your friends why they're called "pampa-bata". (Copyright 2022. All Rights Reserved).